For the record, the proper definition of French windows are full length windows, sometimes also referred to as French doors with glass panels inserted thoughout the length of the overall. For the record, a sliding door which opens out onto a balcony or lanai does NOT constitute a French window.

Idiot.

But then again, that idiot happens to be my boss.

See excerpt from today's working session between New Boss (wannabe Architect) and Consultant Architect (actual Architect) below:-

NB
Can we work French windows into the design concept?

CA
I don't think so. The concept is modern contemporary. French windows don't really fit into the scheme.

NB
But it does. Here you have a sliding door which opens up to a balcony, so yes, you can put in a French window.

CA
NO (high pitched). What exactly is your understanding of French windows?

NB
(silence)

CA
Well?

NB
(mumbles incoherently)

CA
I don't think you know what French windows are.

NB
(after finding balls scrunched up on the floor)
Nevermind, I'll leave it to you to dictate the concept.

CA
So you're contradicting what you just said? You're now happy to let me dictate the design?

NB
No, I didn't say-

CA
(smugly) You just did.

NB
(silence)

Small joys, nevertheless, are still joys. Beggars can't be choosers.

There's a new guy on the block. Unfortunately, he's an idiot. Even more unfortunate, he happens to be my boss.

It's frustrating, really, to be in a position where you know more than your superior, embarrassing even. How can I respect for someone who doesn't know the difference between DBKL and MPAJ (which my senile elderly mother does) or what UBBL stands for.

I caught him telling one of our Consultant Architects that minimum staircase width is 1000mm. Wrong, moron. Read guidelines, much? Flabbergasted and bewildered, to say the least, I did some snooping around on his past. Turns out he worked for another developer, not even an Ivy Leaguer, before joining us, stuck in a room and doodled on butter paper all day. Figures. And they put him in charge of a grand total of ONE project. Explains why, here, he has problems handling THREE. 

Management made him attend an Architect's presentation. Alone. Bastard cowered outside until the last minute before finally going in. His excuse? Apparently he was waiting for the tea lady. Great. No brains, and apparently, no balls, either. Peachy.

How shall I handle this situation? My immediate modus operandi is to wait it out. It's a rough patch. Stupidity like this can't go unnoticed forever. The mid ranks have already caught on, an Architect who doesn't know what GFA and NSA is surely open season to the corporate vultures. And those are the nice ones. It's a matter of time before he's chewed up and spit out. Big Boss has warmed up to him, but I figure it won't be long before he too questions his decision on why he hired this buffoon in the first place. Good things come to those who wait.

Marketing don't have a clue as to what they're doing. Which is stupid because although they have one job - ONE JOB - to sell the product, they have no idea what the market's like out there. Market survey. Right. Overpricing one of our recent projects in a below market area was definitely a bad call they should have been able to see coming from miles away. As a result sales haven't been a-booming, purchasers are turned off by the high price tag and upper management is calling for heads to roll.

Maybe we can't blame them. They're not technical people. They're not highly passionate, either. Neither does it instill confidence the Senior Manager, two years away from retirement, clocks out at three everyday. These kind of work ethics make them dispensable. Not us. If an Architect were to resign, you'd notice right away. Things would quickly fall apart, meetings would cancel themselves, even the maintenance staff would go into mourning. If one of the Marketing staff resigned, it would be quickly overshadowed by something more important, say, the tea lady upgrading the awful local coffee blend she normally uses to that cool imported stuff. We were able to budget for this by downgrading her salary, which is why it  now costs us more to buy coffee than pay her monthly - everyone takes one for the team.

That how useless Marketing is. I'd sell the projects myself if I wasn't so busy doing the important stuff that keeps the firm running. They can't even get their advertising right. It's surprising most them actually know how to read. With the quality of the adverts coming out, it doesn't seem like it.

Take one of the Managers, for example. I don't think I've ever seen him lift a finger since he got here. All he does is sit quietly in his corner and fiddle with his keyboard. Someone once saw him playing Barn Buddy. I'd tell you his name but I've forgotten it. 

The partners have too. I heard he wasn't included in the mid-year bonus simply because they forgot he worked here.

There's a vacant position in that department, if anyone's interested.

Another property developer lost a case where the the plaintiffs won a default judgment of $1.26 million because a secretary forgot to respond to the complaint.

This is why we have the executives do our secretarial work.

A lesson for firms that actually expect their secretaries to do anything. Of course secretaries can't be trusted to do anything, that's why they're secretaries. That's why we need senior managers, supervising managers, supervising assistant managers, supervising executives, whose only job it is to stamp numbers on papers and sort things in the right order.

If we relied on secretaries to do important things like getting me a highlighter or cleaning my shoes, they'd never get done and we'd lose billion dollar cases.

I don't know what the developer was thinking having a secretary responsible for something. Everyone knows secretaries are only good for bringing in food and taking up space in the cubicles. And sometimes having affairs with, but only when extremely desperate and all of the executives are busy stamping numbers on papers and sorting things in the right order.

I once gave my secretary a task. All she had to do was file up all purchaser claims and defect liabilities for one of our older developments. Circa 1990. A good two years before she was born. Plus I had her check the land titles for discrepancies. All two hundred thirty six of them.  Sure it enough it wasn't too long before she was running up and down calling the Land Office and trying to figure out how to read indiscernible Jawi. So we missed the deadline, the Project Team received a default judgment against them, and I had to come up with a phony excuse about how we did everything we could but the claim just wasn't on our side. They paid the bill, so no harm no foul, but it taught me to never put secretaries in charge of anything, ever again.

Lesson learned.

The Huffington Post writes about a property management organization that asks for a family photo along with a resume.

We tried that.

We stopped.

Most of the people we hire? I don't want to see a picture. Have you looked around the architectural schools recently? Sitting in front of a drawing table all day with full access to fast food delivery doesn't exactly do wonders for the physical appearance. I don't want to have nightmares. The less I look at the people around here, the better.

And their families? That's the last picture I want. I don't want to know what your kids look like as I'm forcing you to cancel your family vacation. I don't want to know what your wife looks like as I'm telling you to stay late on her birthday. I don't want to know what your dog looks like as I'm forbidding you to go home and feed her even though you had no reason to think you'd be here all weekend and there's no one with a key to your apartment who can go in and give her some food. I don't want to know what you look like in casual clothes. I don't want to know what you look like when you smile. No one smiles here. I haven't seen a smile since 2005. I don't want to see it in a picture.

The only picture I want with an application is a picture of your acceptance letter from a top-10 architecture school.